Musings On Unilateral Forgiveness

I have been pondering unilateral forgiveness for some time now and I do not think the use of this principle is for all occasions. Also, I cannot find any scripture commanding it. Maybe it was born out of the example of Christ on the cross asking God to forgive those who were executing Him, so naturally we conclude that to be Christ-like, we must forgive unilaterally.

With this in mind, in the gospels of Mathew and Luke, Jesus gave to his disciples directives regarding forgiveness before his death (do the words on the cross supersede the teachings?). When Peter asked Jesus how many times he must forgive, Jesus said,  “If your brother sins, rebuke him; and If he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times a day and  returns to you seven times, saying I repent, forgive him.” Forgiveness becomes an obligation when our brothers/sisters repent. Repentance brings the acknowledgement we need to forgive. If we refuse to forgive when they have repented we become as the undeserving servant in Matthew 18: 34-35.

Christ also in this discourse added, "If thy brother shall sin against you, go and tell him his fault alone: if he listens, you have gained your brother.  But if he will not hear you, then take with you one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto you as an heathen and a publican."

After reading Mathew and Luke, we can conclude that Christians have the right to rebuke those who commit wrong doing. If we command others to give unilateral forgiveness to all, then church discipline that redress wrongs, is unfounded, void. Maybe this is one of the reasons we are lacking spiritual discernments today. We not only do not lovingly chastise the wrongdoer, but bypass church discipline as well. By bypassing this structure, we are allowing sins to fester, seared consciences to grow more dark because of a lack of repentance.

As humans we focus on the periphery. Isn't it more important to bruise an ego and save our brothers and sisters from wrath. We are deeply concerned about showing mercy, but we have to admit that sometimes our mercies are misplaced. The use of unilateral forgiveness is sometimes distorted to deter others from confronting evil.

Paul commanded that a fornicator be removed from the membership in Corinth. He also turned  Hymenaeus and Alexander over to Satan "so they might learn not to blaspheme God." Yet we differ in biblical responses with people who are not willing to seek reconciliation.

I realize that there are grey areas that cannot be solved without insight from God, however, failure to acquaint ourselves with His commandments will gradually weaken our defenses, and over a period of time, blind us to erosions that are occurring .  Those whose hearts that have been transformed by the Lord knows that when we sin, we have an advocate with the Father who makes intercessions on our behalf. So why are we covering sin when we are told,  "He who covers his sin will not prosper. But whoever confesses and forsake them will have mercy."

God demands that we repent always. What Say You?

My Prayer For Us Today

I hope this post encourages anyone reading today who is despairing because of their circumstances to remember that God answers prayers when you abide in Him. I distinctly remember standing outside one morning after my morning run, a couple months ago, looking up at the sky, I told God all I wanted is to be right with Him, to remain in Him. I didn't want to practice any method.....Just live.

Living this life we become tired and wonder how much more do I have to give to receive? What is my obligation? True life is not found in our Christian obligations, practices, but it’s found when we get to know Him. In John 15:1-11, Jesus tells his followers to abide in Him. I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of abiding in Christ. This abiding relationship with Him is a whole life, which makes the circumstances seem mundane even before deliverance comes. Be encouraged to abide in him my friends, be encouraged.

Musings Of A Repentant Sinner

For some time I have been reflecting on what made God loved me, called me? There are many reasons I could provide why He should have blotted me out. And I mean they are many! My life was, and is, not a portrait of beauty. If I were a painting, you would not want to hang me on your wall (in your living room or a dark basement). As an unbeliever I was God's enemy. Of course, we don't often articulate this belief that we naturally feuded with our Creator. But, He in His Gracious love sent His Word searching for our souls–––shedding light, transforming.

The powerful gospel has given me a new heart and changed my desires, but some part of me still feels like the enemy. Sometimes, I question if I was made to dishonor.  There is no doubt in my heart that God saved me, but like all others who have lived a life before coming into His fold, I also have another consciousness. This life in Christ has been many ups and downs but what remains, in the victories and even defeats, are an abiding hope; a realization that I will live, totally free from my old body, anew.

My confidence is in the grace of God, this is why I am living my life, waiting for the blessed hope. What can be more joyous than being miraculously transformed at Jesus' coming? Are you watching? Let us watch together.

No Longer Remaining Silent

March 30, 2011, will make 3 months since this blog began. I decided to begin blogging to comment on things that are transpiring in my life and the church. Through these blogs,  I want to ensure that my voice be my voice--speaking frankly and candidly on subjects that arise. The primary reason I am telling you my readers this is because I do not want anyone to assume I am bashing anyone. Yet, we should exhort and rebuke in love as the bible declares. This means, I do not want to diminish my ability to write about the things that are on my mind or the freedom for you to respond to it. Also, my heart has been prompted to share a piece of my heart  because I do not reveal much when it comes to my inner feelings. The scars that the Lord healed me from are not forgotten because they are testimonies of what Christ has done. I will make no pretences of perfection because we are all sinners saved by His grace.

Around the early part of 2000, I was talking to an old friend of mine on the phone. It was my second semester in college and her son came into the house while we were speaking. He was making fun of a little girl around his age (nine or ten). I asked my friend what was going on and she told me that he and some of the kids in their neighborhood had seen her father molesting her. I told her this was not funny because she knew the struggles I went through with my father and what he tried to do to me. She then proceeded to tell her son that he should not make fun of the little girl. I asked her to call the police or social services on behalf of this child so they could investigate the matter. She replied that her husband "would get upset with her for getting into the neighbors affairs." I begged her to do something even to call anonymously. I even tried to call social services but got nowhere because I didn't know her last name or house number (they were in the Bahamas and I was in Savannah, GA hundreds of miles away). I called her back the next day and begged her for at least half an hour  and she told me that she would speak to a mutual family friend about what she had heard.

Well she lied to me. She never made any effort to help this little girl. It was only after so many things that she had done over the years, that led me to question her integrity, and asked her about the little girl in a recent e-mail. Could you imagine the shock and the realization of someone that I have a shared faith with, whom I have interacted with for over 21 years, would not help a child, whom is in many cases I feel is a younger version of myself. I have been where this child was.  Some part of me feels as if I have failed. Should I have dropped my courses and returned home to see about this matter? Have I become too trusting in the wrong people? I struggle to have the right words because this whole process is to Glorify God by removing the shadows that still hinders and the darkness that still pervades. I sit here lamenting this tragedy and feeling an indescribable oppression, which seems to generate in some familiar part of me. This anguish like a shadow threatens to strangle the familiar love that I have for this person. And in this discovery I pause for thought and prayer.

In our exchange, she sought to silence me by telling me that God had forgiven her and she will no longer will walk in her past. "The devil will not steal my blessings." By also stating that the Lord should have healed me of all my "mess" and that "my main concern should be to my husband and daughter;" in many ways her heart was revealed to me. She deceived me for eleven years and what was more revealing is that she never wanted to help this child (who is now 21 years old) and hindered the process of her ever receiving help. If she had told me she was not going to get involved under any circumstances, I would have sought other avenues. I know there is nothing I can do about it now, but the lack of remorse and shame shows there is no moral conviction. How can a Christian for years look past the home of this child and not be moved to act? How can she watch this child play with her son and not feel a pang of regret? I do not have the answer, but a fearful expectation of judgment for my part.

I did not write this article to claim victimization and seek pity. The one thing I have learned is that silence kills who you are and fosters an illegitimate you when you're forced to speak in frustration. I will no longer hide my shame because I fear unfriendly exposure. There are so many people who have known me for years and do not know that I carry this secret and many more. I will not be silenced any longer.

To answer the question did God heal me of my 'mess?' Yes, but I still bear the scars on my soul and my flesh. It is hard when a child is molested because it tears away not only the trust you have with other human beings but the one you have with God. This is a sin that destroys the whole person, and even when we come to Christ we are not miraculously healed overnight. Am I healed one hundred percent? No! I can honestly say seventy-five percent. Am I lacking faith by declaring this number?  No! I believe the Lord left the scars while covering me in His righteousness so that I can continuously learn of His power, by leaning on Him in my weakness, while learning what it means to care for the afflictions of others.

In me at this moment, is only a deep longing of waiting to experience joy in my whole self, not compartmentalized, and if I have to wait until His appearance to do so, so what? Let His will be done.