Contd: Think Your Church Is Exempt?

When I was a brand-new Christian, I was sixteen, two months before I was due to graduate from high school when I accepted the Lord as my saviour. What I did not mention was the difficulties that I was facing at the time. The abuse case against my father was delayed so many times(for two years) until finally the date came. I was only saved six months before I had to go to trial to testify against him. He was found guilty and sentenced to three and a half years for attempted rape by a vote of eleven to one (I won't go into detail now about how all of his brothers, some deacons in churches in Nassau, showed up outside the court house, lining the steps to denounce me). But, the irony is that with all the waiting and the trial and receiving some justice, he served less than a year because the vote was not unanimous.

Feeling defeated and hurt, I turned to my assistant pastor at the time for counseling. I wanted to get the anger out––I really wanted peace. So I went in to his office and started to pour my heart out and he stopped me before I could finish and told me, "You know you need to forgive?" All I could do was look at him (at least allow me to grieve; offer prayer, something). I couldn't tell him that hours ago my father had came to pick up my younger brother and sister to have an unsupervised visit, and attempted to go off with my little sister instead. I was in the kitchen washing dishes and heard the screams of my little brother as he tried to leave him behind. The screams was so loud that I ran outside with a knife that I was washing. With that knife I threatened my fathers' life and told him I will be calling the police to report him. He never returned to see my siblings and stopped paying child support for them.

My trying to get counseling proved a waste of my time. Not one question I had in my heart was voiced. Why would I a born again believer respond in that way? How can I protect my little sister without losing my salvation? The people in this church were more preoccupied with having the Holy Spirit descend as in the days of Pentecost (which some of us know that once He descended, He has not ascended to descend again).

But, this is not how the story ends. "My father" joins a church and came into contact with people from my church who would visit this church and started a campaign disparaging my testimony. I wanted to go over to that congregation point my finger right at him and scream at the top of my lungs, "child molester." But I guess this was too carnal and unforgiving. I didn't go through with it. But the day came, six years later, when I wish I had.

This Sunday, six years later, I entered the sanctuary and noticed that the older side of the congregation were celebrating and one of the ladies stood up to thank the Lord that He had brought her husband back to her. Well, I didn't even realize that this lady was married and I asked a young lady on the side of me if her husband was lost at sea or just got saved and she looked at me and said, "He was just released from prison for raping their daughter!" And I felt slapped in the face. Four months later, as the collection of tides and offering was approaching, I saw this guy walk down the aisle with a collection bag in his hand. He is now and usher.

I got up and I walked out of that Sunday-show-of-a-church. All I could think about was him destroying the psyche of his daughter and defiling his marriage bed in the process and this church just gave him a pass. There was no testing, he was just unleashed on the young again.

And before some of you start objecting by saying, Hey, he's served his time and we cannot turn anyone away from the church."

(a)He should have been placed on probation for two years; and

(b) Two adult males in the church should have been assigned to him ––not allowing him to be unsupervised whenever he was at a function or around children in the church.

As an usher he was allowed to clear the hallways of children lingering during service and also check restrooms without supervision. As I walked away, I knew if I brought it up, I would be labeled a negative thinker and even a message from the pulpit would be directed at me. But as I walked away I didn't feel elated. I just had a feeling, that funny feeling that something is missing, that something is not quite right. You know that feeling you get when you travel to the grocery store without a list and on your way back home there is this voice in your head telling you that you’re forgetting something important. For me, it took almost six years in a church, not being blocks away from the grocery store to figure out what’s missing. I had a feeling something was not right but didn't act. Well what was missing?

I hope my story can be an encouragement to those who are experiencing difficulties. I also hope it helps those who are struggling with secrets they cannot openly tell others because of indifference. Please try to find other brothers and sisters from another congregation . We are all suffering from the fall of this world. But we are all waiting for that day, when everything will be renewed, when our bodies will be glorified, when we will see our savior face to face and live with him forever.